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Rivka FreiI was born in a strict Orthodox Jewish home, in the Ultra-Orthodox town of Bnei-Brak. I was raised to observe the Torah according to the Rabbis, and my only knowledge of my Moshiach was that "Christians were all dangerous missionaries who kidnap young girls and lock them up in convents". As a child, I was very naïve. I had an insatiable compassion for people in need; I spent my allowance on gifts for my mother, and my attention was always on people who needed my help. When I turned twelve and had my Bat-Mitzvah, my grandmother, whom I was very close to, fell ill and was hospitalized. The day she was taken to hospital, I went to school and set down in my class reading Psalms, as I was taught to do for a sick person. My teacher asked me what I was doing, and when I explained, she told me, "It is no time for prayer! We must study the Torah now." My grandmother passed away that afternoon, and I had my first crisis with my then only known world. After that, I started questioning everything, realizing my parents and teachers weren't omniscient. I questioned the entire Jewish way of living, which started to look suspiciously hypocritical to me. Why do women wear wigs, made out of other women's hair to cover their own hair that is considered in the Talmud to be "ervah"? Why is it all right to have a gentile, or a special Sabbath-clock, turn lights on and off during the Sabbath? Isn't that "cheating" God? Etc. etc. I questioned them; I questioned the Torah, and thinking God was their way of observing Torah, I questioned God. I searched for answers, but found none. Instead I found more lies and hypocrisy. So, I declared a full-fledged "war" against the entire city of Bnei-Brak, the Orthodox Jewish faith, and the Orthodox Jewish God. I dreamt of breaking free from this slavery, from this illogical bondage. I found no happiness in reality, so I found solace in books, any book I could lay my hand on, from trashy novels to Friedrich Nietzsche. At seventeen I left my parents' home for good, never to go back. My heart was full of resentment and sorrow, but my spirit soared. I was free! No more wearing long sleeves and stockings in the heat of summer. No more boring Sabbaths when nothing is allowed but sleeping, eating and going to the synagogue. No more fear! No more threats of hell and damnation over every little thing, like forgetting to wash each hand three times before supper, starting with the right hand. I was free to do what I wanted, and I intended to utilize this new found freedom to its fullest. After spending some time in Tel-Aviv, where I rented a room, I quit my job (I had been working part-time since I was fourteen), packed all my possessions - A few T-shirts, a couple of sweaters, two pairs of Jeans (Jeans! For years I dreamt of wearing pants…) and a few more items, left my rented room, and headed for the road. I traveled around Israel for a while with my "Hippie" friends, celebrating liberty. But my heart was still sad. That voice in my head, that I had known since I was a child and used to refer to as "The Voice of Reason", kept "nagging" me, provoking me, preying on my mind. I knew I was missing something, but didn't know what it was. One day, on one of the streets of Tel-Aviv, someone handed me a book called "Betrayed". It took me two hours to read the book, which included several of the Messianic Prophecies and their fulfillment in Jesus Christ (Yeshua The Messiah) of Nazareth. I decided that if I was to believe in the Tanach (The OT), I must also believe in the New Testament; I realized they were inseparable. But do I believe in the Tanach? I went looking for the group that was distributing the book, whose address was on the back of it, but when I found them, I was told to come back when I turn eighteen. So, I decided to leave it be, after all, I "wasn't speaking to" God… A few months later (I just turned eighteen), I found myself in Jerusalem, near the Old City. A guy was standing there with his guitar, singing songs about Jesus. His demeanor was so attractive; he was surrounded by light, and I was drawn to him instantly. After he finished his song, he turned to me and introduced himself as John, and than he asked, "Do you believe that Yeshua is your Messiah, and that He died on the cross to atone for your sins and give you eternal life?" That good ole' "Voice of Reason" was singing in my head and in my heart, as I found myself answering, "Yes!" I suddenly realized what I was missing! I received the Lord right then and there as my own personal saviour, and got baptized immediately. Now, do you think this is the end of my testimony, and that from that day on I became a new person, devoted to the Lord and sinless? Well, I have to disappoint you. I went on with my life, unguided by anyone but "The Voice of Reason", whom, now I know, is the Holy Spirit. I must confess, I seldom obeyed… I left Israel shortly after to travel the wider road of the World, and got into a lot of trouble. I was young and stupid! I continued to relentlessly love the down and out and the broken hearted everywhere I went, but my life had no direction; I had no home, no family, and at the time I thought, no country. Along the way, came marriage, widowhood, and a wonderful daughter, Michelle, who is now five years old. The Lord has taught me many "life lessons" in my journey and now He is teaching me about single parenting and its challenges; He has planted in my heart a new compassion for single mothers. The Lord started calling me to Ministry in June 1999. But only a year later I answered the Calling. Since then, I learned to obey. I devoted my life entirely to Him. I made a conscious decision to put my Ministry before anything else. Furthering the Gospel and spreading His love (His - not mine!) is the most important thing in my life. I am ready and willing to give up myself, my time and everything else that I have, including my life, for the sake of this calling. I have come into the Kingdom for such a time as this! Hallelujah!
Hisgolus fun Yochanan 19:6-8 |